Justified

A sharp start from Gateshead with a young fit midfield setting the pace, the sting from the bead of sweat running into my eyes leaving me with an overwhelming feeling of regret at the transfer, however this was to be short lived.

In a shrewd move I subbed myself off the pitch, leaving the Gateshead team in an almost zombie like state of shock as to why the expert player had left the pitch. This gave Newcastle the chance they needed, and with some almost average passing from defence to midfield and to attack, Newcastle had broken into the D, 4 mishits and ricochets later, we had found ourselves 4-0 in front.

Once again back on the pitch some masterful game management saw us out to half time.

Apparently, some words were spoken, 5 haribo and 3 jelly babies shared, and we were ready for the second half.

Again 5 minutes in, my selfless self-substitution, proving no one player is bigger than the club, left the Gateshead team flabbergasted, and putty in the hands of the Newcastle maestro’s. An horrific axeman like tackle from Robbo, and backchat to the umpire landed him a green card, and a guaranteed Dick of the Day. As I now type this fantasised nonsense I realise I couldn’t have been further from the truth.

Two more loan wolf attacks from our forwards left us 6-0 up, surely victory was now ours.

However, Neil was not finished and with one more attack he found himself one on one with the Gateshead keeper. No one could have predicted the rage harboured under the face mask, the 12 year old child like keeper pounced, and with a ninjitsu master like accuracy, leg swiped Neil, sending him into a tumbling nosedive.

The flick was given but indecision from the umpires allowed the keeper to remain on the pitch, but this proved of little consequence as Neil sent home number 7.

Final score 7-0, but more importantly justification of my transfer to Newcastle had been confirmed!
by Keith Baxter