Anyone for a line?

After a rather bleak team talk from Captain Marshall we headed out to the pitch, fully aware of our development areas.

Fortunately we hit the ground running, breaking the deadlock 5 minutes in with some Tenacious D entry work by Sam Va Va Voom and slotted home by Alex T.

Pressure continued with positive outcomes coming from turnovers high up the pitch, ultimately dispatched by Matt L and Matt T. Between the PCs Sam the man slotted in a convincing shot leaving the keeper with little chance. That took us into the half time chinwag 4 to the good, a few mins after the returning Mark Tearney actually left the pitch convinced he’d already heard the whistle…

We started the second half even quicker than the first with Matt turning over and driving at the defence and unleashed some Venom, hammering home from the edge of the D.

The paraphrase the infamous words of Sam R, we scored two other shortly after with what can only be described as a goal. Opportunistic and clinical. An Iron Maiden brace for Matt L on debut and a first brace for Alex T.

From this point on there were calls of hat trick avoidance for 3 of the games scorers with a few opportunities wasted.

The frame of the JPC goal had a man of the match performance, thwarting Newcastle on several occasions throughout the game with numerous, how did that not go in moments. Keith most notable flabbergasted and was already running back to the halfway line in celebration, convinced he’d cemented the top scoring midfield title.

SVV the Terrorizer continued to torment the JPC defence with some silky skills and rapid pace and nearly removed the keepers blocker with the ferocity of his strike, only for it to go vertically up in the air about to land on the keepers helmet.
That is before Neil rose like a salmon and volleyed it reverse stick over his right shoulder into the net.

Swiftly after this the game turned a little bit sour with some Mayhem moments. Accusations of foul play marred the game despite the 8-0 score line.

Apparently trying to lift the ball over a defender’s stick to the 2 otherwise unmarked strikers in the D for a clear goal scoring opportunity was not Paul’s intention and he rather opted to intentionally hurt the JPC defender by lifting it into him. Some rather unchristian words were said and but minutes later a JPC substitute stormed the pitch like some Motley Crüe to confront one of the umpires, a PC was awarded for a clear foot. A green card given to the captain on this occasion even though the rules would suggest a red was more appropriate!

With the umpire needing to throw JPC a bone, up stepped the sacrificial Lamb of God Neil in the attacking corner but 2 yards from the back line.

One of the softest greens you’ll ever see but enough to get DOD on what was otherwise a solid Newcastle team performance. Testament to the team ethos shown all season.

The Slayer, Matt T, returned to the fold following coming on directly in place of Neil’s visit to the naughty step and wrapped up his second hat trick for the club.

9-0 at full time and certainly a Black Sabbath for JPC. 8 wins on the spin completing another line on the bingo card. Shout out to Kev for getting the squad a round in for completing the achievement.

Same again next week with the return leg scheduled for an early morning start in what we expect to be a frosty reception, not just from the drop in air temperature.

MOM Sam Van Vurren

Match report Neil Dale